I'm Adam. Prince of Eternia and defender of the secrets of Castle Greyskull. 
Now, didn't that whole opening sequence, put together and rehearsed on my page
punch ya in the gut with happiness and memory and a craving to seek out your
Master of the Universe and his cartoon shows? I wanna have hardcore sex with
He-Man!!! Well, not really … Hehe, i mean, i admire him very much ... heh heh *cough*. Anyway,
How many of you are too young to remember He-Man, but remember the ever crappy
show called She-Ra instead? Huh? HUH?!? Well, too bad for you. He-Man was
far greater. She-Ra had its moments, but left me for the most part frustrated.
They didn't really have any giant musclemen or anything, and the women were
proportioned weirdly (kinda barbie doll-ish ... i never liked barbie dolls), so
i never watched She-Ra. He-Man, the greatest hero EVER!!! This show even had
the best music, and my theory is that the industrial music industry today was
formed by the influence of the music of He-Man! Maybe it was evolved around the
same time, but the music was the greatest!!! (Also much of the Neverending
Story music was very VERY good, emotional and creepy, etc...). Well, enjoy my page!
Ok, first of all, i will greet you with the greatest Master of our Universe:
He-Man himself! I love this guy. He transforms from Prince Adam and becomes
He-Man to destroy evil and just generally kick ass! He is the greatest hero
ever! Even tho you can kinda tell he was a little bit borrowed from Conan, he
is still the god of superheroes! His voice is just perfect, he's animated so
well, and he is an all around nice guy. With wonderful wit and one-liners, just
slightly pathetic, he is the ultimate hero!! Skeletor: "What's the matter, He-Man, sitting down on the job?"Now, wasn't that the greatest? I believe so! And on top of that, he has a sword. The Power Sword. The coolest sword in the entire universe!! This sword makes him who he is, and he is great with it! He has unbelievable strength, and i have always wanted to be him!
He-Man: "One thing's for sure: i won't STAND for you!".
Skeletor, the most evil and funny bad guy … And he’s also the coolest-looking of evil bad-guys (Next to Darth Vader, Shredder comes as a close 3rd)! With his neat blue skin (I’ve always been facinated by human bodies with blue skin … maybe he was the cause!) and his yellow, skull face, he instilled a lot of fear in me.
I loved skulls because of him. This cartoon came out when i was 3, and i still
love him now! (1983, i was 3 ... in 2000 I was 20, can you guess how old I am now?).
He has a nasal voice and the coolest schemes, and he is just so damned cool!
I'd be proud to fight against such an evil genius! Who ever thought he'd get an
invisibility helmet and steal Adam so that He-Man would save him? No one's that
smart anymore!!! Besides, who else but Skeletor would name a ram's head on a
stick, a "Havok Staff"? (That staff could do ANYTHING!!) And haven't you ever noticed his obvious obsession with turning people and things to stone? If only that meddling He-Man didn't have so many friends, or else Skeletor's obsession would be complete!
Orko. Everybody loves him. I ask, "Why?" He, to me, is not all that great a
character. Maybe he was better in the comics, but i don't know. He has a neat
voice, but screws up his powers and always gets He-Man (my hero) in even WORSE
trouble! Oh well.
Cringer/BattleCat. I like Cringer. Sometimes his fear can be really annoying
but, he is kinda cute. Besides, he's GREEN!! (With
orange stripes ... or yellow stripes if you got one of the crappy versions of his toy). But
i love it when Prince Adam tells him it's time to transform, and Cringer is like
"Ohhh, not again!" And then Adam goes into his whole kick-ass transformation
and then shoots Cringer with magic to change into the giant green tiger with
orange stripes and big red armor. His voice is more growly and he is a tough
kitty! He is about as strong as He-Man, and i find that ultimately cool!
Teela ... i never really payed any attention to Teela. She was too barbie-dollish
and i never really liked that, even back then (see my
I Hate Supermodels page). I have always noticed that in the cartoon she always
wore gold and had red hair ... but on the toy boxes and everywhere else, she
always wore this weird, red, snake armor, and her hair wasn’t visible. Of course I know now that this was her original form (the snake armor), but I always got confused over that when I was little.
Was it easier to draw her wearing the gold stuff than wearing the red stuff in
the cartoons, or something? I don't know ... the He-Man people always had great
skill in detail when animating the cartoon and shouldn't have had problems with that ... hmmmm... She once found out that her true mother is The Sorceress, but then her memory of that was wiped ... i guess she was not ready at that time to take over the throne of Castle Greyskull from her mother.
Duncan was pretty cool. He had the coolest hat. It reminded me of a football,
but it is still a good hat. (I hate sports). What also confused me about him
was that, on the cartoon he has a moustache. Why doesn't he have one in the
toys or in those other kinda drawings where Teela had red, snake armor? But
he was cool. He had good morals and was also a nice guy. But he was always
getting messed up by Orko's stupid carelessness!
The Sorceress. I thought she was pretty cool, but i was always under the
impression that she was in her 40s or something even tho she looks to be 20. She could control the Time
Corridor and can turn into a Falcon, named "Zoar". Zoar woke He-Man up one
morning ... hehe, it was a comical scene where Adam mistakes Zoar's noises for
an alarm clock and tells Cringer to turn off the alarm clock, but then Cringer
sees it's a Falcon ... "Then, could you please turn off the Falcon? ...
FALCON?!?" Hehe. But it was for the lousy widgets. I don't like those guys.
Oh well ... waitaminute ... this is the Sorceress's paragraph! Yah, she was
pretty cool, and she could shoot magic and stuff. She was very magical and powerful and
protected Castle Grayskull!!
Trap-Jaw ... he was always my favorite bad-guy after Skeletor. I always loved his jaw. I don't know ... as a kid, i always seemed to like the people made of Metal (such as Darth Vader and Shredder); although, only his helmet, jaw and multiple right arms were metal. I liked all the attachments he could make to his arm to make him a really good bad-guy, but he was always a little too slow. He would get the attachment on, and He-Man would just disable it (like the gun arm on the very first episode, He-Man bent it backwards). Plus his out-worldly skin color i loved also!.
Merman ... he was also really cool. He could swim under water and, i don't know, i just liked him a lot! Especially since i was scared of him. I always liked the things i was scared of as a kid ... anyway: I was scared of him cuz i had this book with the drawings the same way as the Duncan-no-moustache, and Teela-snake-armor, and He-Man went down into a well cuz he heard some "clanging" ... and Merman came up behind him and then He-Man knocked him out. The scary scene was the drawing of Merman, laying there in the water, unconscious, and he looked so scary cuz his mouth was open ...
Beastman. I never really payed much attention to him when I was a kid, cuz he instilled no emotion in me whatsoever. I didn't fear him, so i didn't really like him much. But now when i look at him in the cartoons, he is kinda funny, cuz he is slow and he sounds like he has some sorta handi-cap, and he's just generally stupid and oafish. He's one of the last candidates i'd think would have telepathic abilities, don't you think? He does have a whip, but he doesn't go far with it when he uses it on He-Man, who just pulls the whip to himself and ends up flinging Beastman into nearby trees ...
Tri-Clops. I always liked him, too. But i don't remember much about him. He must have not been on the show very much. But i remember i like him! I kinda think of him as the bad-guy version of Man-E-Faces.
I find it comical some of the things you come across. Me and my brother were
watching my He-Man tapes and we came to the conclusion that He-Man could be
the ultimate gay poster-boy! Look at him, he has kinda a queery voice when he's
Adam, and he wears purple and pays more attention to Duncan than Teela! When
he's He-Man, he turns from a submissive wimp into a massive dominatrix with a
deep voice and fur briefs! And even THEN he pays more attention to Duncan than
Teela! (I do not intend to insult gay people or He-Man, i just find the
evidence really funny!)
Can't you see it? See, he surrounds himself with
scantily-clad, musclemen (and a midget that has "springy legs"), and see how
he perches upon his mighty steed, sticking out his massive chest! But of all the characters, the one with the most Homosexual Potential is Stratos (I have yet to find pictures) ... just look at how he carries people with his legs and how he flies and sticks out his chest. Him and He-Man knock boots all the time, i betcha!
No matter what, He-Man is the greatest
Hero, EVER, whether he decides to knock boots with Teela or Duncan is completely
HIS business ... but it would be cool if he just decided to really give Duncan
and Teela a big 3some ... he is, after-all, HE-MAN!!!
that I’ve taken note of ...Skull face
Fish face
Fur face
Fur brain
Fur ball
Rug Face
Pebble Brain
Bungling Buffoon
Muscle-bound buffoon
and my 2 favorites:Flesh Face (Skeletor to He-Man)
Royal Boob! (Skeletor to King Randor)
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Please, please, PLEASE don't make your entries "Private" unless you say something personal about yourself, because i get too many Private, "hey man, nice page, bye," or they say nothing that needs to be private ... it is so AGGRAVATING!
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